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| Hello I am back from DECA. I was disappointed that I didn't get to nationals, but that's alright. I think I'm busy enough as it is.
Anyway, I'm running for webmaster on Tuesday for NHS (GO TO THE MEETING OR I WON'T GET VOTES). I don't know why, but it doesn't really hurt to try. It's just a minute of my life to make a speech. How nerve-wracking. Wish me luck. I'm running against Sid Mullick (I've got great stalking skills). He's decently popular? I don't know if I can beat him o_O but I don't think this officer position is that big a deal for me so -shrug-
What should I do when I grow up? I've been thinking about it lately. Just pondering, not obsessing or anything.
What I want in a job:
1. Something you can advance in. I don't want to be stuck in some dead-end job for the rest of my life.
2. Something that requires travel and movement. I don't want to be stuck in an office or a cubicle typing away at the computer all day (sorry mom, not that that's not thrilling).
3. Something that can be fun! =D and exciting, but that's just an opinion.
4. Something where you can go out a lot and meet people.
5. And eventually earn a lot of money if you get really good at it.
any suggestions?
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| I don't have last year's, so I can't check up, but I'm pretty sure I did badly. Congrats to those who accomplished stuff from last year =). I've noticed that some people are stressed or cynical about goal-setting and stuff, but for me setting goals is kind of...nice. It gives me more reasons to actually try and work in life, instead of sitting around rotting away my life playing too much Maple Story or watching a lot of TV.
Resolutions:
1. Make a good score on SAT. Because mother says she will give me money if I do well. Yay for motivation. My head hurts just thinking about SAT.
2. Get closer to God. This list isn't sorted by priority >_< The things just pop into my head and SAT came first. Sigh. That tells you I'm failing this one x__x. I've heard many people say that you should read the whole Bible before college. I've got 1 and 1/2 years left. Let's hope this goes well.
3. Get closer to friends. I'm sorry I neglect you guys for school and other stuff =(. I want to become closer to my friends and hang out with them more and appreciate them and open up to them more. <33 You guys are important.
4. Lose weight. HAHA. This was on last years. It didn't work out. I lost like 3 pounds and gained it back, I believe. Yeah, but I'll try. Sigh. If any of you guys see me, keep me away from sugary foods. Especially those stupid deliciously tempting donuts at church.
5. Change certain personality flaws. Blah we all have flaws, but I have some that have been with me for very long and I hate them very much. Like shyness, lack of enthusiasm, tiredness (thats not a personality trait but I'm always tired and dull xD), yadda yadda. Staying in my comfort zone too much x_x. I'm the president of the comfort zone.
6. Have fun. When I look back on last year, I'm really shocked to see that a lot of my time has been spent studying or working and less time was spent hanging out with friends and family and having fun. I need to loosen up a bit and smile more, even when things are hard, and seriously just have fun this year.
7. Get a tennis coach. I WANT TO MAKE VARSITY NEXT YEAR (and actually play in it and not be super low). Furlow thinks I'm like uber terrible, but I'll show him >_>;
8. Find a job/internship/get an officer position. This has to do with boosting extracurricular stuff. I need to try out for officer stuff and I need to get some money SOMEHOW because I'm making my mother poor.
9. Do well in DECA. Seeing as I may want to pursue business, I think DECA is a really good opportunity for me and I want to really make sure I take advantage of it and go to all the competition thingies. I want to make State at least x_x?
10. Make new friends. Because I need to meet new people. And I like talking to new people. Sometimes I'm just shy or I judge people and don't want to go up and talk to them. I don't know o_o I have issues.
Well, I think I'll stop now. Let's hope 2009 will be an enjoyable year =D
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| Man my computer's been broken for two weeks. I come back and see a bunch of posts about school and stress (except Allison's kawaii nephew whom I want to squish.) I can rantz about problemz too? First of all: school. I'm not having any terrible grades (oh dear except English which I'm going to be ecstatic if I made a B since I didn't finish 10- problems) so that's ok. But my workload is terrible. To maintain my grades, I have to work my freaking butt off and I'm so tired and more stressed than I thought. When I signed up for this workload, I thought oh it's going to be all right. I can take it. And I really can and I'm doing so well; I just want to give up now. Sometimes I can't tell what the point is of doing so much school work while at the same time missing out on life and a lot of fun stuff. Missing out on being a kid. Sometimes I want to just not do any work at all, but I know it's not possible for me. Doing work has become a drug for me; I know I shouldn't overwork myself and I need to slack off once in a while, but everything I do has to be perfection. And I'm finally feeling the strain; here I am blogging while I haven't started my homework yet and it's 6:33 and I have D-group at 8. Second: tennis. Ugh. I need a coach, period. I suck and I'm having confidence problems like Kai. Third: God. I'm losing my relationship with Him, mostly because of school. I forgot where I heard this but someone told me that when you're too busy for God, you know you're too busy. Okay it sounded different in my head. Pretty much if you're too busy for God, you know it's too much to handle and you have to cut back. How can I revive my relationship with Him? Fourth: it seems like we are having a lot of friend drama. And I mean a lot. Let's fix this, guys, and not be so bitter and vengeful. We're the mafia. We stick together. And we should be strong together. [lol wtc I didn't mean to sound that deep o_O] Gah. Sorry the stress and all the crap about life has been weighing me down and I know I've been a real [beep] to some of you guys. I know I've snapped at some of you, and sorry, that's me losing my control and releasing some of the stress bottled in me. It won't happen again. Next time I feel unhappy with you and it's not your fault because I'm being a [beep] and overly sensitive, I'll just smile and count to ten until my anger fades away. =) I will not be an angry child. OMG I HAS HW. | | |
| It's amazing how much we let a number control our lives. I was regretting so many things in the past, but after reading Wendy's, Chelsea's, and Kimbo's xanga entries I realize that they're right. Let's move on. And I'm sorry if I made any of you feel bad when I complained =x It won't happen again, I hope. My expectations are just silly because I want to live up to everything that my father did for me when he was here, and I don't think my number justifies what he's done for me.
Rhea, feel better =( I don't know EXACTLY what's going on, but I hope it'll get better. Be strong.
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| Please don't feel bad about your ranks. But I feel like a hypocrite for saying that, because after looking at my rank, instead of feeling satisfied like I should, I regret past decisions I've made. I'm selfish for thinking that way; my expectations for myself exceed my actual skill. And I hate that. I hate that I'm regretting things just to get my GPA higher. Why can't I just tell myself to screw GPA? >_< rawr. It's okay, because GPA is not a true measurement of skill or potential.
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